Merry.Mel's Journal, 03 Dec 23

Thank you for taking time to let us know how you are. I expect life feels a bit surreal right now, I know it was for me, Christmas cards mixed with condolence cards. Be kind to yourself Mel, it will take a while to get used to. Are you spending Christmas with someone? x 

Thanks for letting us know you are okay. I sent a prayer for you and your family. Hugs.  

My Dear Mel you have been in my thoughts & prayers … loss grief is never easy … time you need time … try to keep busy talk to your friends family or post on here take care of yourself lovely Mel xxx 

I hope Jim's family n ur friends are keeping u close mel lots of love to u xx 

🙏 

Good to hear from you and that you are keeping a bit busy. I think that helps . when I was young funerals always happened quickly but seem to take longer these days. don't know if that's good or not but never easy, though they a chance to celebrate a life. Jim sounds to have been a fine person and however hard to say goodbye I am glad he was in your life. take care 

Hi All, having a difficult time the girls (Jim's daughters want one thing I would like other things eg bright colours Clsire said black with a touch of pink. We have agree with the hyms and songs also the place. The girls from work wanted to come. But the truth is Jim didn't like any. Only about two he liked so they cannot come as they cannot shut up. I am having my best friends and some neighbours. So not all bad. We are going to the funeral directors tomorrow..much love to you all. ❤️ Merry Mel.xxxx 

Sending love 💔❤️ 

Sending a hug.  

Mel, I don’t know what it’s like there, but please take a trusted ally with you when meeting funeral directors as they may try and leverage you on emotions. Best wishes as you prepare to honor Jim’s life. 

I’m grateful you taken the time to let us know how you are. Look after yourself xx 

Good to here from you Mel thoughts are with you xx 

Thinking of you today with your visit to funeral directors. Hope you end up with what you feel best suits this important occasion but that others feel OK too. For what it's worth I knew what music i wanted to choose for Alan but kids had different ideas so went with those. At the cremation they were asked to play "sailing by" which is the weather forecast music as he was a keen sailor but instead they played Rod Stewart "I am sailing". It was a bit of a shock as it took me a second of thinking that I didn't know that's how sailing by started before the truth dawned. Alan didn't like Rod Stewart!!! But quite quickly we all worked out that Alan would have seen the funny side of it. He hated funerals anyway and would have preferred not to go to his own.... in more ways than one!!!. Still struggling with what to do with ashes which are at home.... I will get there. Thank goodness haven't got to deal with my own funeral although I have specifically set out the music..... kids asked me too!!! 

how did today go Mel?? its over whelming so hope it went well xx 

Wishing you well, Mel. Best wishes for one breathe at a time. 

The day ended up shit. Because Claire doesn't want strangers at her Father funeral I said they were not coming to the funeral they are coming to the wake. She is next of kin so it's difficult. She shouted in her text. OUR DAD IS DIED, OUR DAD IS DIED. I text back I KNOW HE IS DIED. The people I want coming are not family who are not going to the funeral but to the wake. She snapped again and said Cheryl is organising the wake as she us now not coming She us staying at home with her family. Her husband and Jim's older grandchildren are carrying his coffin.  

Continue. I told her they were our friends. But she is blowing a gadget at present. What a very big shut day.Jim would have been devastated 😢. I am working tomorrow and please to be doing that. The funeral is on December 28th Quite frankly I will be glad when I can start living a normal life. Yes it will be very hard but much better than this. Hope you all have a good Wednesday. Love always Merry Mel 🤩  

aw Mel, grief is an awful thing, people deal with things differently, let's hope things settle.down with Jim's daughters love to u xx 

I am sorry it went badly. Isn't it tough to be at odds with each other like this. Hope actual day goes peacefully Mel. Can see why you want to be the other side of this. Thinking of you.