Alilyadahlia's Journal, 02 May 24

At some point in every successful journey is coming to the realization. That you have to do this soley for you. Be a little selfish in a sense. By stating to yourself and those close to you. That acknowledgement, encouragement, and others noticing would be nice. But that the most important person you're doing it for your is yourself. By the way there's nothing wrong with it either. When you're body starts to change it's a shock to those who are closest to you. It's also sometimes that you're a reminder of the commitment to health. That they aren't willing to battle against. I could write a million more things but I'll stop! 🙂 Support definitely helps in this journey. But it's not mandatory for long term success. I've noticed in my few years initially family and friends cheer you on. But it starts to become less and less. Which is fine were not doing it for them. I find now strangers [people on here] or at the gym/every day life. Are more apt to give compliments/encouragement. Keep working on you and everything else will fall into place over time. 

Thank you Joe for the words of encouragement. I am doing this for me 💯 I worked in a skilled nursing facility and saw firsthand what happens when we lose muscle mass due to aging. It was an eye opening experience and I know that one day that may still be me but I want to take care of myself the best that I can. I also have an extra amount of venom when I am compared to my dad in a negative way. My dad sacrificed everything for his family and he has the best work ethic of any person I have ever met. He has worked 16 hour shifts for 30+ years, sitting in a truck driving through horrible weather conditions and gaining weight due to the sedentary nature of his work. All to provide for his family. He is not overweight due to genes but literally sacrificed his health for us! Sorry. Venting again! 😬 I recently realized I need to heal from the years of being told everything about my dad and his family is bad. Yes my parents are still married but my mom is narcissistic. I have internalized a lot of the negativity about my dad's side. I wish I had been able to spend time with my paternal grandmother as a child but my mom treated her like a disease. 

Wow... see we have a lot in common with the parent dynamic. I'd say use all of the negative things by turning them into positives for fuel in your chase of better health and the body you desire. The motto I love and have lived by the last few years. Is 1 % better each day over time adds up. Think of it as your own 401k of health. The more you put into the better off you'll be. Here's to continuing the daily chase! 💪🤝🙏 

I think most of us have heard similar criticisms by family and good friends. I think it's a matter of not understanding what your journey is about. Sometimes change is difficult for others. Who knows?! Stay strong in your beliefs and keep moving forward. You are doing great! 

I too come from a lousy childhood and a history of crappy food and exercise choices. As Joe said this is All about you. You will find positive affirmation and true support here in this comunity. We hold you up when you are struggling, but we will call you out when you need to hear that too. Believe in yourself and make the changes that you need to make. Be the Best that you can be every day. Some days will be better than others. You Deserve the Life you are striving to achieve!  

Good for you for improving your mindset, that is huge! It's something I'm still struggling with. I like your analogy Joe of a 401k. I'm making little deposits day by day with my healthy actions! That is hard to have so many people close to you not understanding your journey. I'm glad you've found this safe space to vent. 

go go go!!!!! 

How is the 5 day plan going? Do you rotate weights? I am trying to get motivated myself. 

I'm so sorry. Their comments just show they are ignorant, but still it stings. I don't know if this will help you, but I listened by a podcast yesterday that broached the topic of how food can affect our brains and our mental health. I'm not suggesting you have any mental health issues, but I've been in your shoes and I felt very depressed. This podcast was very helpful because it gave me even deeper reasons to validate why I wanted to lose weight and the long-term effects if I didn't. He is the author of BrainEnergy.com. There are plenty of YouTube videos, just search for Dr. Chris Palmer. He backs all his claims with science over decades and written papers. He is one of the most compassionate doctors I've ever listened to. Take care. You are not alone. 

Joe thank you for sharing that with me. I absolutely love that. I'm investing in my future self. Diana it is hard to know the psychology behind it. Thank you for the words of encouragement. Slyone I am sorry to hear that you also had a difficult childhood. At the same time it is a strange sort of comfort to know Im far from alone. We are greater than our struggles. I definitely realize I struggle with feeling worthy. Thank you for the affirmation, I do deserve to accomplish my goals. Wafflewitz I agree with you, mindset is half the battle! The safe place to vent is great. Sometimes just saying something out loud lifts a weight and helps us push it behind and overcome. I started painting. I would paint pretty things but I felt nothing inside, like I was dead. One day I just felt the need to destroy the beautiful things I created. I colored them with a black and red storm, letting the darkness surround the images but not completely consume them. It felt so good to get what I was holding onto inside out. It was more therapeutic than any pretty thing I ever created. Elizabeth Thank you for cheering me on!  

Abbadabba I love the 5 day weight training that I am doing. I have a dumbbell set and a bench at home and I do my workouts outside in my lanai (south florida). I think if I did not love it that I would not do it It is challenging and at first I had no idea what I was doing but I was driven by the desire to make a positive change. A big one that I could be proud of. I told myself that I didn't have to be perfect. It took almost the entire last 8 weeks for me to feel comfortable and now I am starting to build confidence. I am close to outgrowing my home dumbbell set so maybe now that I have a little more confidence I might go to the gym. One thing that I constantly have to remind myself is to not let the number on the scale get into my head. I lost an initial 10 lbs and nothing really since then. I am okay with that. I weighed 100 lbs in high school. I weighed 120 most of my life since then. Do I want that body back? No I don't. I want to be stronger than I have ever been. I have realized that most of my life I had what is referred to as "normal weight obesity" which is when you are a "healthy weight" but you have a high body fat percentage and low muscle mass. My body may be further from the "ideal body" according to our culture but I believe that anyone can be healthy at any size. 

Thanks for sharing. You've got support here! 🙌 Fatsecret community strong! I don't have family support either. I'm getting healthy and they see my way of eating as unhealthy. What ever. It's not fun but at least you are learning who you are!  

I feel your pain on this. I’ve had the same struggle in the past. I have no answer to help you deal with it. I can only say you aren’t alone and hope it gives you comfort. 

False positive is just as harmful. Part of the reason I’ve been so unhealthy is people was telling me no you’re not fat. All the while I was feeling hyper tensions. Headaches and chest pains. I’m glad I decided to fix it and not planning to look back