livbullpen's Journal, 05 Aug 20

would watching shows that celebrate the creativity of cooking instead of the other food videos help? I find top chef and guys grocery games fun and mindless and I don't think you'll get the same ads retargeted  

If you run, don't restrict like that, or at all. You don't need to. It's insane. Runners just drop weight. Look at your height and muscle mass. Or just look at your weight, BMI, and height. I think you already know all of this. It's a control thing. I get it. Stop relying on Mukbangs. That's just nuts. It's so easy. This web platform counts even resting/sleeping calories for you. Calorie counting, especially for running, is done for you. Look, just loosely journal what you eat. I mean, loosely. But you're an anorexic, so try to be kind to yourself. Nourish yourself as much as possible. I mean, eat a two to three egg omelet (even just whites) with veggies. Do it the night before or the day before. I've been a long distance runner for years, and that type of calorie restriction will definitely lead to broken bones and tears. Especially, if you are in your late 30's to 40's. You're looking at hip replacements and broken foot bones. I've already done it. It's not worth it. I get great immense satisfaction from using the step climber (manual) is slow torture. Like hill work as a runner...it's grueling. However, to me, I keep increasing the time. It's tough!!! I am working my way to 30 minutes on the stair stepper. Right after I get on the Arc Trainer or ellipse or the air climber for 20 to 30 minutes. Variety challenges me. After all of that I absolutely love walking on the treadmill at 7.0 hill and 3.3 speed for 10-30 minutes depending on my energy. It's not running, obviously, but with the limited calories, it's what I can manage and I get fat loss results. Also, do weights or push ups and core (planks with weights and leg lifts with weighted medicine balls).  

Put something fun on and dance 💃🏻 body positivity mantras/affirmations on the mirror (write ahead of time) - read an awesome ED book - hot shower - journal - I didn’t watch tv when I was really in my ED bc of ads I got triggered constantly 

I used to restrict myself a lot (I still do until now but not as bad as before), what I did was trying to change my eating habits instead of restricting. I weight myself daily, check what I eat (I make sure to get enough protein everyday to build muscles), drink lots of water (it helps with cravings), and eat healthier food (veggies, eggs, lean meats, fishes, fruits, etc). The thing with restricting yourself is you crave more for food. Healthy food is more fulfilling, last longer in your tummy but less calories. I also drink a cup of water before I eat, a cup while I eat, and a cup after I finished eating.  

Ditto what bigboned said. 💜💜 

When it comes to an eating disorder, I can not stress enough talking to a professional to learn some new coping mechanisms and to reset your relationship with food and your body. I don't restrict in ways that are unhealthy anymore and I do focus on eating whole and unprocessed, foods. Everything Big Boned But Toned and Fridanantya are exactly spot on. I wish you the best in your journey.